There was a time when our smiles could be heard around the world. When our laughter bellowed louder and louder until we disrupted others. When our hands intertwined in a tranquil pattern and we promised eternity into each other’s ears. When our hearts first skipped a beat in sync to lead us to one another.
There were times when you stopped replying. When I returned the favor. When you yelled. When I yelled. When you were a coward. When I was a coward. I’ve driven countless miles and hours to save us, racing through the cricket-screeching night just to hold your face against mine. You told me we’re forever, and the soothing tone of your voice assured me. Yet, I still wake up in the late night, paranoid, and turn over to see you say “it’s over” flashing on a machine like so many others before you. It hasn’t happened yet. I believe you.
It’s another sleepless night and another bottle I’ve downed to numb the resentment I hold to every person that’s burned my delicate skin and gentle heart. Our angry minds scream and can be heard across from the Great Lakes in Michigan to the beech trees in Denmark. I can only hear the clicking fan, the blind rooster down the street, my quiet sobs, and your silence.
Even silence has a noise. It’s a ringing, buzzing shout that could drive anyone to madness if they listened long enough.
Your silence could bring tears through the sky and watch a whole world burn in so much pain and misery without the blink of an eye.
Collect calls to home to tell them that I realize that everyone who lives will someday die and die alone.